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The trouble with being a Republican...

by: piggieheart

Sun Feb 26, 2012 at 13:05:08 PM CST

I will let the rest of you deal with the insanity of Alabama's legislature, along with that of six or seven other insane states, deciding that women are to be officially relegated to second class citizenship. I have signed all the petitions, "liked" and "shared" all the appropriate posts, and made my feelings abundantly clear.  I know I have done well because I am being unfriended by all the "right" people.

But, I need to keep my focus on the National election which, I understand, is still scheduled to take place in November. All our local partisanship and ground-level organizing will gain us little if we lose the White House and the bully pulpit that goes with it.  So, I am watching the Gopper debates and all of Obama's speeches.  I am engaged in debates of my own with friends and family, as well as online about this election. And there are a few thoughts I have formulated that I want to share.  They will not shock anyone who knows me, nor will they be likely to convert anyone who is not already of my opinion, but mommy and daddy taught me to share, so here goes ... below the fold.

piggieheart :: The trouble with being a Republican...

 I read a quote from President Obama that may or may not be authentic.  Authentic or apocryphal, I like it. "Do not compare me to the Almighty", sayeth the prez, in an admission that he is not perfect. "Compare me to the alternatives". What are the alternatives?

First, let's deal with the Unicorns in the horse race. Mitch Daniels is too busy destroying his popularity in Indiana to even consider a Quixotic plunge into this race. His moves on right-to-work have cost him a lot of middle class support and the Koch Brothers only have two votes.

Chris Christie also recently decided to self-immolate when he rejected the marriage equality bill passed by his legislature. Although there are probably a lot of New Jerseyans who agree with him, millions of Americans agreed with Jonathan Capeheart when he told Christie that it is immoral and impractical to put civil rights to a public vote.  Truly, Blacks would still be at the back of the bus, barred from the voting booth and picking cotton in Virginia if White Southerners had gotten to vote in 1963.

Finally, closing out Fantasy Island, Jeb Bush, although he is vocally unimpressed with the current field, is also smart enough to know that his best chance to live  where Daddy and Bro once roamed, is to wait until 2016 and run against Hilary or Elizabeth Warren. He will NOT screw that up with a failing campaign starting at this late date.

So, down to the Big Four. (Yes Virginia that was sarcasm! Heh-heh).

Mitt Romney, the front- runner and presumptive Republican candidate, is doing well, except...well...nobody likes him. He is like Metamucil. Prescribed as the best cure for "Obamacitis" he leaves Republicans saying, "Isn't there anything else that isn't so...unpalatable?"

The on-line camapign "Mutts against Mitt" is more than a joke, folks.  There have been many thousands of pet lovers turned off by the famous "Up on the Roof" rendition by the Family Romney. If a man will treat a dog this way, goes the thinking, how will he treat the poor, or minorities, or women?  Fair question, says I.

I just had an intuitive flash!  Remember the old joke where the judge asks the guy "Have you stopped beating your wife?" Romney does that to himself, with no help from his opponents.  Going out to give a speech about how much he loves cars, (in Michigan, of course) he ends up describing about six or seven vehicles he owns, including the casual line, "..and my wife has a couple of Cadillacs". Aiming for "I'm an ordinary guy who loves cars" and ending up giving the impression of "I'm so rich, my wife has an indefinite number of luxury vehicles". Of course, the "dog" story is the same thing - he set out to show what an average guy he is, with an overloaded car, and ended up revealing his disregard for the family pet. It's not that he is stupid; he isn't - exactly.  He is victim to the old maxim, "If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember what you said yesterday". The corollary here is "If you are authentic, you don't have to rememeber what you set out to portray".

He also has all those comments of the "The trees are the right height" which I can't comprehend, much less comment upon.

Rick Santorum, by some strange quirk in the Universe, perhaps associated with the Mayan Cosmogenesis, is also still in the competition. Shall I beat the dead horse here and talk about his misogyny, or break some other ground?  Ah, let's get in a couple more licks on this equine corpus before we move on.

Santorum has explained that women should not be assigned to battlefield action in the military - not because they aren't capable of performing- but because their male colleagues will be so busy spreading their field jackets over puddles for the ladies that the whole bunch will be massacred. Thanks for clearing that up, Rick.  By the way, Rick, that country you love and respect so much - Israel? Have you noticed that their female soldiers are pretty much just as tough, just as efficient and just as merciless as their male counterparts? (The mercilessness of angry women is something you should be thinking about a LOT these days, Rick).

You have started something really big, ex- Senator (Why do we call these jerks by titles they were stripped of by the voters?) Santorum. Your obvious lack of respect for women - as well as your equal disregard for settled law and custom, has started a groundswell of action against women's rights in this country.  There is no chance in Hell you will be given a pass on this.  Women vote, and they are 51% of the population.  Not only will you feel the sting of this no-longer-silent majority, but hundreds of other Republicans nationwide will be out of work come November and eventually they will realize it was your fault. I would not want to be you when it happens, Rick.  I'd rather be Mitt's dog...or Newt's wife.

But here is an interesting tidbit I found that isn't about women.  It is about your purported Christianity.  If you are NOT a Christian, or even NOT a good Catholic, wouldn't you agree, you pretty much have no standing to even be in this race? Let's check out this excerpt from "The Dish".

Like you, I have serious misgivings about a "moral" candidate for the presidency (i.e. Santorum) defending torture techniques. From the official Catechism of the Catholic Church (2297): "Torture which uses physical or moral violence to extract confessions, punish the guilty, frighten opponents, or satisfy hatred is contrary to respect for the person and for human dignity." What I can't figure out is, why hasn't a bishop come out publicly to deny Santorum communion? When John Kerry was running for president, no less than future pope Ratzinger stated that Kerry should be denied communion, which he ultimately was. Where is Ratzinger now? Where is Raymond Burke? Sean O'Malley?

So it turns out that our good Catholic Rick Santorum, such a good Catholic that he rejects the use of birth control, that 98% of Catholics support, doesn't support the Church's view on torture.  Now, I have heard it said that a sin is a sin and one is not worse than another, but waterboarding, fingernail pulling, crushing testicles, breaking fingers and legs, just evokes a stronger reaction from me than the image of a woman taking a pill or a man donning a condom. I'm betting that 98% of Catholics ...even 98% of Cardinals, would share my feelings on this.

Newt Gingrich is such a tool.  I have nothing new to say about Newt, for the simple reason that there is nothing new about Newt.  So, he announced that he will deliver $2.50 gas, if elected.*  YAWN! How can that surprise me from a man who is going to build a moon colony?  How can anything he says ever get our attention?  What can you say after you say, bat-shit crazy, lying, meglomaniac?

Again, like Newt, Ron Paul is such old news.  He never changes. Remember Rudy Giuliani? (Sure you do.  Try harder.) His idea of a sentence , someone said was "A noun, a verb and 9-11".  Then there was Lou Dobbs's , "A noun and a verb and border security". With Paul we get variety; it can be either "A noun and a verb and 'Gold Standard' " or "A noun and a verb and 'eliminate government'."

So, in essence, it comes down to Mitt, a Ken-doll, but with less charisma, or Rick Santorum, the fire-breathing re-incarnation of Torquemada, but with less restaint. Overstatement?  Would you bet against torturing and hanging of unbelievers if Santorum had free-rein? Would you bet the farm against Sharia style treatment of women?

 Well, there is one other choice.  No, not Marco,( I once was a Mormon, but magic underwear wasn't whacky enough, so I became a Catholic with magic bread and wine) Rubio, although that is certainly an interesting possibility.

I was referring to the guy who already lives there.  The Blues singer-cum- power forward, with the classically lovely and gracious wife and the two adorable daughters.  You know who I'm talking about.  Let's just all agree to settle this time. Settle for sanity.  Settle for calm deliberation. Settle for  that loving, caring, compassionate version of Christianity that we don't see in the other camp. The version with the "do it for the least of these" and "Love thy neighbor" and "feed the hungry"...all that old tired stuff your Grandma taught you (and his Grandma taught him).

Yes, I'm gonna "settle".


 * Michelle Bachmann promised gas for $2.00 a gallon, so Newt went with $2.50 to appear moderate.


Who you gonna vote for?
Mitt, the Mutt-hater?
Rick, the Inquisitor?
Newt, the man in the moon?
Ron, the Gold Bar Kid?
Marcos, the Roman Mormon?
Mitch, for a more perfect non-Union?
Chris, to break Taft's last remaining record?
Jeb, just to piss him off?
Buddy Roemer? (He wants to be included)
Or will you just settle?


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HELP! It kept saying I couldn't "Save" so I kept trying (4.00 / 3)

I never meant to post multiple copies.

I have been largely missing from these pages for a few weeks, due to a chronic condition I have that makes me climb up on a stage and pretend to be someone else from time to time.  I have been suffering a particularly serious attack, called "August: Osage County", in which I am  portraying the only semi-sane member of a family crazier than a Republican debate. I am sure several of you will comment on the likelihood of my being the sane one in ANY group, but I assure you that is the part I play.  Show is opening Friday, March 2 and also presented on March 3,4,8,9,10, and 11 at Pensacola Little Theater, which is located in Pensacola. 400 S. Jefferson St, to be exact. Check out the play on your search site and you will see that it is an award winner, and also that it is not for the faint of heart.  Do not come expecting "Mary Poppins". You may also go to Pensacola Little Theater on line for show times, prices, directions, etc.

This was my shameless self-promotion for the week!

Only after the last tree has been cut down. Only after the last fish has been caught. Only after the last river has been poisoned. Only then will you realize that money cannot be eaten. Cree Nation Tribal Prophecy

good composition (4.00 / 3)
i liked this

Good analysis, PH. I think you captured the essence of MIttens pretty well (4.00 / 3)

He can't keep track of what role he's playing, so he blows his lines all the time.  That must be an actor's nightmare.

I liked this, too:

 Mitt Romney, the front- runner and presumptive Republican candidate, is doing well, except...well...nobody likes him. He is like Metamucil. Prescribed as the best cure for "Obamacitis" he leaves Republicans saying, "Isn't there anything else that isn't so...unpalatable?"

 You have now beat the estimable Charles Pierce, who summarized Mitt's problem as (paraphrasing):

"Half the Republican base doesn't like him - and the other half wants to run over him with a road grader"

Well played, sir...

Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passion, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence.
- John Adams

Thank you for sending me to read Charles Pierce. Brilliant! (4.00 / 3)

Only after the last tree has been cut down. Only after the last fish has been caught. Only after the last river has been poisoned. Only then will you realize that money cannot be eaten. Cree Nation Tribal Prophecy

[ Parent ]
Pierce is always worth the jump (0.00 / 0)

His columns about David Brooks' hypothetical Irish Setter, Moral Hazard, are the best antidote for Brooks' actual columns that I have ever found.

Though, I must say I thought it was funnier when the dog's name was Moral Consensus - that just seems so much more Brooksian.  Plus, Moral Consensus hated his name so much that he peed in Brooks' bedslippers whenever Brooks wasn't looking.

Comedy gold...

Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passion, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence.
- John Adams

[ Parent ]
I'm still hoping for a resurgence of Newt-mentum (4.00 / 2)

But notice that Mitt Romney is already spending money campaigning in Alabama -- we got one of his flyers in the mail on Friday. 

What did it say?  I honestly don't remember.  It was that memorable ... maybe that Mitt loves Alabama even though the trees are too short?

Work harder and work smarter!

I just love me some Piggieheart writings! (4.00 / 1)
Funny, sarcastic and dead-on!!!! Perfect!!!!

Hole-in-one PH (4.00 / 1)

 I don't think even Mark Kennedy could have put it better.

 Only an idiot would think Newt could deliver $2.50 a gallon gas. Even if he could, how are we suppose to afford climate change damage with even more & more greenhouse gasses added to the atmosphere?

 The very mention of Mitt gives me a sick feeling in my stomach. The vision in my head of that poor dog will haunt me the rest of my days.

 I don't find Santorum's support of torture to be all that surprising. Most Republicans are willing to go to any length to strengthen the will of America's enemies. Military Keynesianism is the right hand of the GOP.

 November will bring about an easy victory for Obama. I just hope America wakes up and votes out the "bat-shit crazy" Republicans of the 112th Congress, so that much needed work will get accomplished in the coming years. 

October 2012 was the 332nd consecutive month with a global temperature above the 20th century average. The last month with below-average temperature was February 1985. - N.O.A.A.

Remember Rush's Operation Chaos 2008? (0.00 / 0)

Let's Pay it Forward! I hadn't thought of voting on Super Tuesday until someone reminded me of Operation Chaos. Since the tea party likes Santorum I like the idea of voting for Romney. Oh and because Rush clearly hates Romney. I don't think Romney will do well on Super Tuesday...but united Dems could change that.



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