One Last Smile: A Tribute

by: plainsmanpolitico

Sat Feb 06, 2010 at 23:37:34 PM CST

It has become somewhat of a tradition for me, however cathartic, to post on LIA about my grandparents. One of the main reasons I returned from professional advocacy work in Washington, DC, was to be around them in their twilight and to aid my family if and when the grandparents decided it was time to hang it up.

The month of February is cold, and has been brutal to us. In February 2008, I lost my paternal grandfather. One year ago today, I lost my paternal grandmother. And, so ironic that today I buried my maternal grandmother, after a long illness complicated by kidney failure, dialysis, a near stroke, and an emergency colostomy. She lasted longer than we expected after she decided to stop dialysis treatment, and when she drew her final breaths on Wednesday afternoon, that pained look we'd seen so many days and weeks returned into the beautiful smile we always knew and loved.

Because of my writings, and sharing them with you here on LIA, I stepped forward to write her obituary, as well as her eulogy. Only by sheer divine intervention, or dumb luck, I made it through it.

Mama was a delightful, loving, spirited true Roosevelt Democrat, and I miss her dearly.

Thank you LIA family for allowing me to introduce to you my family.

My eulogy for her is after the fold.

Henry David Thoreau once wrote, “There is no remedy for love but to love more.”

My grandmother loved more. I’ve never known anyone in my life, who loved as deeply and as broadly, as Mama. It wasn’t just her family, or her friends, or her church, or her faith, or her Heavenly Father, it was in everyone she met, and in everything she did.

They say God is love. That love is blind. That love is a many splendored thing. Love lifts us up where we belong. All you need is love.

Simply put, My grandmother, my Mama, was the very essence of love.

A few years back, the children gave her a journal for grandmothers to write their memories for their grandchildren, and over time, Mama filled in some interesting thoughts and stories. She writes about her father, who was a farmer and worked some for the W.P.A. How they would walk 4-5 miles or ride in a wagon to church. How her father would help her with her homework. She wrote that it was her mother that ruled the house, and the children were never allowed out after dark unless it was to go to church. She talks about her mother doing the laundry, keeping the family’s clothes clean, and that she even did others laundry to pay for Mama’s class ring. And she mentions her mother’s love of quilting, remarking that one of her mother’s quilts was still on her bed.

Mama would help in the fields with her father and her other siblings, and she would help with other chores for her mother.

If there was one thing Mama didn’t love, it was cats. She wrote of a story none of her children had heard before. When Mama was around 9 years old, she would stand on a wooden box to wash the dishes. And, once a cat had to come into the house, and there it was sitting on the kitchen table. Mama grabbed a piece of stove wood and threw it at the cat as it went out the door... and it killed that cat.

Just like her parents, with the life and home she built with her husband, my Papa, she too toiled the Earth, and washed those clothes, and quilted those quilts. You could never enter her home without her telling you, “Go on into the kitchen and get you something to eat. Go in there and get you a Coke.” For every birthday, or Thanksgiving, or Christmas, you could finish your second plate, and she’d tell you, “Go on into the kitchen and get you some more to eat. You didn’t try my fried chicken!” "But Mama, I had four pieces!" “Oh, foot!,” she’d reply.

My mama was always there for us. And there was never a time when she didn’t tell us how much she loved us. You could always confide in her, she was always there for comfort or for advice. She was our rock. And today, there is a whole in our hearts, for in this moment, we do feel a bit lost. I loved her, and I miss her. But I will not mourn her, I will celebrate her, for that is what she would want me to do.

At 89, she was the center of our family and taught all of her children that family is to be treasured, loyalty is paramount and faith will guide you through the tough times. She believed in us and, because of that, we believed in ourselves. Together with my grandfather, her husband of 69 years, we learned the dignity of hard work and that you are defined by your sense of honor.

While Mama has gone to her Heavenly home, her life, her faith, her immeasurable love will never be extinguished from this Earth. It resides and lives on in all of us, for we are her great lasting legacy.

A LETTER FROM HEAVEN
by Ruth Ann Mahaffey

To my dearest family, some things I’d like to say.
But first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay.
I’m writing this from Heaven. Here I dwell with God above.
Here, there’s no more tears of sadness; Here is just eternal love.

Please do not be unhappy just because I’m out of sight.
Remember that I am with you every morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through.
God picked me up and hugged me and He said, “I welcome you.”

“Its good to have you back again, you were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest family, They’ll be here later on.
I need you here so badly, you are part of my plan.
There is so much that we can do, to help our mortal man.”

God gave me a list of things, that he wished for me to do.
And foremost on the list, was to watch and care for you.
And when you lie in bed at night the days chores put to flight.
God and I are closest to you....in the middle of the night.

When you think of my life on earth, and all those loving years.
Because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears.
But do not be afraid to cry; it does relieve the pain.
Remember there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain.

I wish that I could tell you all that God has planned.
If I were to tell you, you wouldn’t understand.
But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is o’er.
I’m closer to you now, than I ever was before.

There are rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb;
But together we can do it by taking one day at a time.
It was always my philosophy and I’d like it for you too;
That as you give unto the world, the world will give to you.

If you can help somebody who is in sorrow and pain;
Then you can say to God at night....My day was not in vain.
And now I am contented... that my life was worthwhile.
Knowing as I passed along the way I made somebody smile.

So if you meet somebody who is sad and feeling low;
Just lend a hand to pick them up, as on your way you go.
When you’re walking down the street and you’ve got me on your mind;
I’m walking in your footsteps only half a step behind.

And when its time for you to go...from that body to be free.
Remember you’re not going...you’re coming here to me.